guilt of a different kind

its rough going right now, as its that time of the year when you have to start looking for summer employment and almost EVERYONE else seems to have better prospects than me. I’ve been dinged from even an interview with the firm i like the most and i have spent exactly 425 hrs going over what i did wrong to lead to my misery. there is ofcourse the resume that u have to live with, but there are the 1167 other things like not shaking the hand firmly enough, and holding the hand for a second more than is necessary and speaking a decibel too loud. because obviously all these things matter. even more guilt inducing is the fact that i am very very VERY jealous of my dumb and dumber classmates who did get interviews with them.

its also vaguely disturbing that right now losing weight seems to be more important to me than preparing for the one interview that i do have. how do u get yourself to do anything other than spend all day in bed with numerous back issues of US weekly, when all your hard work seems to have gone wasted. the daily trip to the gym in between issues seems loaded with purpose.

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