almost girl

wat is more sad?

forcing urself to take drags on a cigarette becoz they say ‘Indian women do not smoke’?,

or the fact that at 25, you still feel the need to let them know you don’t give a damn?

they shud make soaps about cricket players

a group of 4 men who meet for coffee between matches and see each other through the ups and downs of their careers. one a wide-eyed young handsome chocolate-faced kid who believes that spin bowling will change the face of cricket, a rugged handsome player of a fast bowler, the wicket keeper who is stuck on a female-Ms. Big like person, and Miranda can be the star opening batsman. wudn’t we girls like that better than the done to death new york city stereotypes? Yes, i am talking about cashmere mafia. most unimpressed, but not disappointed becoz i was kinda sixth-sensing it wud suck.

on the other hand wats going on in the india/australia series is so much more juicy. just not fast paced enough and harbhajan singh? really? monkey? really? if saurav ganguly were to be in his place… now thats something i’d wake up on a sunday morning to watch.

guilt of a different kind

its rough going right now, as its that time of the year when you have to start looking for summer employment and almost EVERYONE else seems to have better prospects than me. I’ve been dinged from even an interview with the firm i like the most and i have spent exactly 425 hrs going over what i did wrong to lead to my misery. there is ofcourse the resume that u have to live with, but there are the 1167 other things like not shaking the hand firmly enough, and holding the hand for a second more than is necessary and speaking a decibel too loud. because obviously all these things matter. even more guilt inducing is the fact that i am very very VERY jealous of my dumb and dumber classmates who did get interviews with them.

its also vaguely disturbing that right now losing weight seems to be more important to me than preparing for the one interview that i do have. how do u get yourself to do anything other than spend all day in bed with numerous back issues of US weekly, when all your hard work seems to have gone wasted. the daily trip to the gym in between issues seems loaded with purpose.

memories of a morning gone by

apricot croissant

warm, fresh, crispy and mushy. with loads of sugar. dark roast coffee

how you can annoy me today

Come to the gym, get on a treadmill and just stand on it looking up and watching muted television. For a whole 20 mins. Oh, also be reed thin and super hot and have on the grey and white NewBalance sneakers that i cudn’t afford.

epilogue 2007

New years have always been a big thing for me. Because writing diaries has always been a big thing for me. Resolutions, looking ahead, plans, big, big, big. The depressing part was ofcourse the fact that my resolutions were always the same, forgotten equally soon each year, and caused the same depression and sense of uselessness at the end of each year. But this year i am uncharacteristically happy about my past year. I decided to break away from tradition and write down the things i am happy about 2007 for. Things i achieved last year, not what I want to be doing next year. that may come too, but i am still too happy just looking at the past.

2007 was the year when i :

– broke my habit of snacking late at night.

– came to terms with my relationship with my mother (the lack of it, i mean), after years of agony

– moved to new york, a place i had grown up wanting to live in!

– my relationship with bf matured and i know i don’t have any problems “depend”-ing on him anymore

– career wise, realized that there were a few things i need to stop doing, because ‘i am too old to do that anymore’. someone i was paying to listen to said this to a class of us and suddenly it all dawned on me. there can’t be any excuses of inexperience or young-ness anymore, because i am old enough now! daunting as it may seem this is basically the stage i am in life. so i decided to pronounce myself almost grownup. and that’s how it all began

Hello Blog!

new year, new blog, and lots of issues to deal with. nuf said.